Remembering my Grandma

I did not know her as well as others but she knew me better than most.  Her name was Grandma or Grandma Margaret, no other name was allowed.  Her word was law and her law was enforced swiftly.
Respect was always demanded by her but given willingly because no matter how much you hated her as you rubbed a newly red area, you still loved her.  Take it from a 7th grader who had to get a checkup for school, had to strip down to my underwear, and she walks in because they were short staffed that day.  I thought I was too old to strip in front of her.  The smack I got proved me wrong.  She let me know that I was never too old to get smacked for being disrespectful. 

Part of her law was that she controlled the television.  At certain times of the day, even if she was in another room, the TV had to be on certain shows because she could still hear it, no matter what she was doing.  Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and the news were non-negotiable.  At least we could learn something from watching the boob tube.
She also had her fun side. The California Lottery, Married with Children, and Cops were all okay to watch but her true vice was wrestling.  WHOOOOO!  That’s right, Nature Boy Ric Flair was one of her favorites and the fire he generated when he was in the ring consumed us all.  The more he bled the better the excitement that filled us all.
She was always firm, attempting to make you a better person, while doing what all grandparents do, slightly spoiling you whenever she could.
Being a nurse in a hospital, large paperback novels were abundant and she never said you can read it when you’re older.  Reading the newspaper was encouraged and if you did not read it yourself she would read you articles she felt was relevant.
If the weather was good, meaning it was not raining, unless you were doing homework you needed to go outside and play.  To this day, I still think it was an excuse to kick us out of the house so the adults could have some kind of peace of mind, however brief it may be.
The poem Footprints was always somewhere in the house, usually in the restroom, so that you would read it over and over and never forget that you are never alone.
She had her plants and that was the one thing you never messed with.  If you did, you knew you were getting the chancla, if you were lucky, or the belt, depending on how badly you messed up her plants.
She was a speed demon in her little red bug.  We could hear her coming from blocks away and as a kid, sliding around in the back seat, being thrown into the side of the bug from centrifugal force, was the best thing ever.  My head slammed into the window a time or two but it was worth it for that need for speed.  I, myself, am a spawn of that speed demon, and when I begin to chase that speed, the same grin comes across my face that I use to love seen on hers.
She was a tiny lady but the love she had to give was bigger than giants.  She had many grandchildren and great grandchildren and each child was special to her.  She knew what they needed and she was not afraid to tell her children how to take care of her grandchildren.
My aunts would say I was difficult to shop for because I did not like a lot of things.  She used to say I was very simple yet very complex, always calling me “simply complex.”  Despite that, she always knew if it pertained to Star Wars, Aviation, or books, including comic books, that was all I needed.
She use to send my mother money for me to spend every time there was a book fair at school.  She use to send me books that no one wanted anymore from the hospital, filling my personal library with Robin Cook, Tom Clancy, and Michael Crichton books.  She made sure I was never without something to read.
As an adult, I take all of these and many other memories with me everywhere I go.  She molded me into the man I am today and who I tried to make my child to be.  I can still hear her harsh soft voice, feel her firm tender touch every time life hits me hard.
I may be one of many, but she did her one true job, to make sure I could survive whatever life throws my way.  To know I have to do what needs to be done, but no matter what, she will always love me
She touched many lives in her own way.  No matter who were are, each of us have our own special memories of her.  These were mine.

Pre Op Surgery

So I had surgery on Tuesday, March 6th. The following is a true story.

"Have you ever had surgery before," a nurse asked as she was inputting my information into her computer.
"Yes. Once, on my back, three years ago," I answered slowly as the morphine began to kick in, taking away the pain pulsating throughout my back.
As another nurse continued to get me ready for my surgery she stopped at my right calf.
"What about this scar," the second nurse asked. "What was this surgery for?"
"That's not from a surgery."
The first nurse stepped over to look at my leg as well. Both nurses looked at me as if I was just caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
"Sir, that's a surgical scar," the first nurse began to scold. "It looks like a botched surgery at that. We need to know all your past medical history."
"It's an alien surgery. I went to sleep with nothing wrong with my leg and woke up six hours later with that, just as it is."
The nurse looked at me as if I just lost my mind.
"It's true. That's also why you guys keep drawing so much blood from me, the aliens are using it to clone me."
"Okay then," the nurse said, going back to her computer without missing a beat. "Are you allergic to any medication?"

A Hole in My Leg

“Aliens exist.  There are different species fighting each other for the right to control this planet and most humans have no clue about what’s going on.  For those innocent humans who are abducted, they are used as lab rats, having implants put in them without their knowledge.”

“There are a handful of rebel humans who know the truth.  We fight the aliens where we can, but it’s not easy.  They have the power to paralyze us, taking pieces of us while we sleep, or outright killing us.  I know all of this because I am one of those warriors, and they found me last night.”

“It was like any other night.  I got in bed, pulling the covers over me tightly.  My heater is not working properly so I was trying to get as warm as possible on my own.  It was not long before I passed out.  When I woke up, my blanket was missing, my bedspread had small traces of blood and there was a round scab on my right calf about an inch round.”

“The scab was black and hard, as if it had been on my leg for weeks, not hours.  I began to peel the scab off slowly and to my surprise it came off in one piece, almost like a band aid.  I could see that the hole went about a quarter of an inch deep, give or take, and was cone shape.  It looked like someone had removed the calf meat surgically.  It was too perfectly round.”

“Uh, why are you telling me all of this?”

“I’m just trying to explain why I’m not coming into work this morning.  Duh!”

Elevator Car #3

I barely escaped with my life last night.  Elevator #3 tried to eat me alive.

When I first saw it, I noticed the elevator door was wide open.  I was walking slowly toward the elevator, expecting the door to close well before I got there but it stayed open.  There could only be one of two reasons for this, either the elevator was put in independent mode or something was in the track, keeping the elevator door from closing properly.

I looked down at the track and seen it was clear.  Stepping inside, the door started to close quickly.  The image of a Venus flytrap popped into my head and I put my arm in the doorway to trigger the safety feature of keeping the door from closing.  Much to my horror the door kept moving.

Panic set in and I put my entire body in the doorway, trying to get out of the elevator.  I set my feet against the wall and pushed with all my might, finally opening the door enough that I could step out.  As I broke free the door slid wide open once again.

“What the hell was that,” I asked myself out loud.  “It had to be a fluke.”

I set one foot into the elevator and the door began to close quickly.  I jumped backward, out of the elevator.  The door flew open once more.

“No way,” I laughed to myself.

Being the idiot I am I reached a hand across the threshold and the door began to close.  I pulled my hand back, snapping the door wide open once more.  With more laughter I teased the elevator, waving a hand back and forth across the threshold, making it excitedly close the door, only to pull my hand back, making it open up in frustration.

“You put your left foot in,” I teased, sticking my foot over the threshold, “you put your left foot out,” pulling it out of the way of the closing door. “You put your left foot in and shaking it all about.”

I laughed harder as each time a body part crossed the threshold the door tried closing faster than it had before.  I was enjoying myself, feeling cocky.

“You put your big butt in and you shake it all… OH SHIT!”

I slipped and fell to the floor as the door began to slam close.  I scrambled toward the door, my life flashing before my eyes as the image of a Venus flytrap filled my mind once again.

Luckily I was able to get my head and shoulders through the opening before the door was able to completely close.  The door slammed into my chest and open just slightly before it tried closing again.  It repeated this process over and over, trying to chew me up before swallowing me whole.

I kept pulling myself forward as the door opened and closed, tenderizing my body.  Finally I was able to get to my feet and jumped out of the elevator.  The door opened wide, taunting me with its small victory.  I stared in disbelief at my own reflection in the back of the elevator, wondering what the hell was going on.

The elevator door slammed closed quickly and dropped down to the first floor.  I could have sworn I heard a dark metallic laugh as someone stepped into the elevator on the first floor.  It finally got its meal.

Two Points of View

I hate the rain.  It’s cold and sad.  I’m getting soaked, stuck in this stupid rain, and it’s all her fault.  Look at her!  She doesn’t even care how miserable I am.  If she would have listened to me we would be riding the bus home instead of walking.

Oh how I love the rain.  I love jumping in the puddles and making the water splash, it’s so much fun.  I’m sorry big brother, but mom says you have to stay with me no matter what.  I know you wanted to ride the bus but I wanted to play in the rain instead of riding in that big old stinky bus.  I wish you could have as much fun as I do in the rain.  Oh look, here comes another puddle.

Capping my pen

It is with a heavy heart that I am announcing I will no longer be writing on a regular bases. Something has happened medically and I am unable to write in the same manner.
From time to time, if I am able, I will post something small, but do not expect much.
I am redesigning my quotes and free verse in hopes to rekindle the fire in my brain. I have put careful thought into the design, the wording, the font, the colors. I just hope you can feel what I am trying to portray.
I have thought long and hard on this and it is not a decision I came to lightly. It is just something I am no longer able to do.
No more is more sadden my this announcement than myself. I love the written word and to give it us is painful indeed.
If you wish to know why I am no longer writing, send me a message and I will tell you, I owe my fans that much, but I do not wish to disclose it publicly.
Thank you for your support and understanding.

Hunting in the Darkness

I have danced with demons, faced Death and laughed in his face. I have fought with things not of this world or realm. I have lived in the darkness my entire life and I have made it my home.  Now there is something new in the darkness and for the first time, I am alarmed.
I am not afraid, yet, because I do not know what it is.  It is darkness.  It is surrounding me slowly.  It is cutting me off from the rest of the world.  It is stalking me.  It is on the hunt for I have now become its prey.
I am not emotional nor do I feel depressed but I am cut off from the world, being consumed in this new darkness.

Searching For Peace - From The Story Teller book

‘Kids can be so cruel.’

‘Forgive them father for they know not what they do.’

‘Revenge is a dish best served cold.’

‘Vengeance is mine, so sayeth the Lord.’

‘But you can hurt him; break him like he broke you.’

‘He has fear in his eyes.  You don’t need to do this.’


“Shut up!  Just shut up!”

“Bu… bu… I di… d… didn’t say…”

Jerry punched Sonny across his jaw.  He did not want to hear Sonny speak.  He did not even want to hear Sonny crying but Jerry knew he could not stop that.

“Still don’t remember me do you, you sorry piece of shit!”

Jerry pushed the barrel of a .45 semi-automatic pistol into the side of Sonny’s head.

“I ought to blow your sorry ass away right here, right now.”

“Please, I’ll give you anything you want.  Ju… ju… just don’t hurt me.”

“Who would have guessed that big BAD ASS Sonny Flores, Captain of the football team, would be cryin’ like a little girl?”

Jerry hit Sonny in the back of the neck with the butt of the pistol. Sonny fell forward into a puddle of dirty grimy black water.  The two of them were standing in a dark alley behind Murphy’s Bar in Detroit.  The bar was located in a rundown area on the “wrong side of the tracks.”

The alley was completely dark except for the single light mounted over the back door of the bar.  The light shined on the two men like a spotlight.  Jerry and Sonny were the only things visible in the alley.

Both men grew up in the ghettos of Houston, attending the same schools since elementary.  Sonny was the cool guy that everyone wanted to hang out with.  Jerry was the fat kid that Sonny use to pick on and make cry.  Hence why Sonny became the cool kid.

As they got older teasing and calling Jerry names was not enough.  Since Sonny always had four guys hanging around him, “yes men,” Sonny decided to get more aggressive.

One day during seventh grade gym the five boys cornered Jerry in the locker room.  Jerry tried to run but Sonny tripped him.  Jerry fell hard on the tile floor, cutting his arm on an open locker.

The boys laughed and walked out.  Sonny got the taste of blood and wanted more.  Whenever Sonny got the urge to inflict pain he would go looking for Jerry.  The boys would beat Jerry on his body, making sure never to hit his face.

Sonny use to tell Jerry that if he ever told anyone Sonny would kill him.  Then Sonny would beat Jerry so bad that Jerry use to wish he was dead.  Jerry learned to hide the bruises and pain very well.

By the time high school rolled around Jerry had slimmed down a lot.  Eighty-five pounds to be exact.  Jerry also grew to the height of six foot even.  Summer was the only relief Jerry got from Sonny and his goons.

Sonny always had to leave for the summer and his “yes men” were lost without their leader.  Jerry thought that this year was going to be different.  He himself was different.

Sonny would not have a fat kid to push around anymore.  In fact Sonny was going to have to look up if he wanted to talk to Jerry face to face.

First day of school was always the worst for Jerry.  Sonny figured he had three months of ass whippings to dish out and he wanted to get it all done on the first day.

At school Jerry tried to stand up for himself but that would only make Sonny angrier.  However, since Jerry was taller and skinnier, it was not as much fun for Sonny as it use to be.

Most of the year was better for Jerry.  Sonny and his goons only beat up Jerry once a week.  Jerry would fight back now of course, but he was always outnumbered.

Since the beatings were not as frequent or as bad as before Jerry was able to make a few friends.  His friends would tell Jerry to stand up for himself and how they would back him up.  When Sonny and his goons showed up it became a different story.  They talked big but when it came right down to a fight they would disappear, leaving Jerry alone.

Sonny decided to go back to teasing Jerry mostly.  He would trip Jerry in the cafeteria, causing Jerry to drop his food tray.  In gym Sonny would try to pull down Jerry’s shorts.  A few times he succeeded.  The mental torture would get worse as school went on.

Jerry wished that Sonny would go back to the beatings every day.  That, at least, Jerry knew how to deal with and no one would ever know.  Sonny, however, was having too much fun tormenting Jerry and was not about to stop.

Senior year rolled around and Jerry had met a girl over the summer.  She had moved from New Hampshire and was a knockout, the hottest girl in school.  She was Jerry’s neighbor and for some unknown reason she like Jerry very much.

Two weeks into the school year Sonny decided he should have the hottest girl in school not Jerry.  Sonny tried embarrassing Jerry in front of her.  But the more Sonny tried the more she felt sorry for Jerry.

The week of Fall Semester finals Sonny had enough.  His popularity was beginning to go down because Jerry was not as affected anymore by Sonny’s cruelty.  Sonny decided time came for Jerry to really suffer.

Jerry was always the last person to leave the locker room during gym.  Sonny waited till everyone left the locker room and locked the doors.  Jerry thought he was alone so he never seen the bat coming as he got to the door.

The room began to spin and Jerry touched his forehead.  His nose was broken and bleeding badly.  Jerry looked up to see Sonny holding a metal bat.  Jerry’s eyes grew large as Sonny swung the bat at Jerry’s jaw, breaking it upon impact.

Sonny wanted to break Jerry’s jaw first so that Jerry could not scream.  Sonny continued to beat Jerry with the bat, swinging with all his might.


With every blow Jerry’s bones were breaking.  Sonny made sure to hit Jerry all over his body.  His legs.  His arms.  His ribs.  His back.  The last blow was to Jerry’s testicles.  The pain was so severe that Jerry began to black out.

Sonny dropped the bat and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.  Sonny grabbed Jerry by the hair on his head and dragged him to the showers.  Sonny handcuffed Jerry around the shower stall, facing the wall and forcing Jerry to stand on his broken legs.

Sonny yanked down Jerry’s gym shorts.  He went back and grabbed the bat.  Sonny came back and tied a gag around Jerry’s mouth, tying it tight.  The pain in Jerry’s jaw increased with the pressure of the gag.

Without warning Sonny shoved the handle of the bat into Jerry’s ass.  Jerry screamed, despite his broken jaw, but the screams were muffled by the gag.  Sonny pushed until the lip on the bottom of the bat was inside Jerry.

Sonny then yanked out the bat.  He swung with all his might at Jerry’s hands.  The cracking of Jerry’s fingers as the bones broke was a deafening sound to Jerry.  Sonny took two more swings.  One at each of Jerry’s knees.  The weight of Jerry’s body fell as his knees were broken. 

Sonny turned the hot water on full blast.  It did not take long before the water was scolding hot and burning Jerry’s skin.  His body began to go into shock.  Jerry passed out. 

No one ever saw Jerry again.


*     *     *     *


‘Kill him.  Shoot him in the head.  He tried to kill you.’

‘Thou shall not kill.  Vengeance is mine, so sayeth the Lord.’

‘Where was God all those years when he was killing you?  DO IT!’


“Aaaah!” Jerry screamed as he put both hands to his ears.  “Just shut up and leave me alone!”

Sonny looked at the man holding him hostage.  Sonny had no idea who he was.  The man seemed to be going crazy and Sonny saw a chance to run.

Jerry noticed Sonny was trying to get up.  He pointed the gun back at Sonny.

“Don’t you move you sorry piece of shit.  You’re not going anywhere.  Why the fuck did you follow me here?  Huh?!  What did I ever do to you for you to hate me so much?”

“Look mis… mister, I swear I don’t know you.”  Sonny was trying to suck up his tears.  “I think you got me confused with someone else.  If you let me…”

“The hell you don’t know me!  It took fifteen reconstructive surgeries and four years in rehab to heal the damage you did to me.  Because of you I can never have children.  Now I’m going to die a virgin you sick fuck!  I just wanted to be left alone.  You just couldn’t stand for me to be happy.  All because I was FAT!!”

Jerry kicked Sonny in the gut, making Sonny double over and fall back into the dirty water.

“You ruined my life.  You killed me before I ever had a chance to live!”

“Jerry,” Sonny murmured, “you’re Jerry?”

“That’s right motherfucker,” Jerry shouted as he kicked Sonny again.  “I thought I was rid of you for good.  Then you show up here.  Can’t you just leave me alone?!”


‘You know he won’t.  Do it!  Do it!  Shoot him in the head.  Death is the only answer.  It’s the only chance you have at peace.’


“Yea.  Death is my only chance at peace.”

“Jerry you weak ass pussy.  You aint got the guts.  That’s why you are a loser.  Always have been and always will be.  Your girl realized that after you left.  We fucked and laughed at you for the rest of the school year.”


‘Shoot him!  He deserves it!  After everything he did to you.  Come on, you know you want to.  Just pull the trigger and it all ends.’


“No!  Shut up!”  Jerry turned to his left and pointed the gun at the shadows.  “Why can’t you just shut up and leave me alone!  Just leave me in peace!”

“Who the fuck are you talking to,”  Sonny began to stand up.  “Jerry I’m going to take that gun and shove it up your ass.  Just like old times.”  Sonny was laughing as he walked toward Jerry.

Jerry snapped the gun back in Sonny’s direction.

‘Do it Jerry.  Kill him!’

‘No, death is not the answer.’

‘Don’t listen to that pussy.  That’s why Sonny beat you up.  Be a fucking man and kill him.  DEATH IS THE ONLY ANSWER FOR YOU JERRY!’


“Just leave me alone!  All I ever wanted is peace and quiet!”

“Losers never get what they want Jerry.”





Finally peace and quiet is found as a lone figure departs into the shadows… smiling.