The Decade Time Forgot

I remember back when I was a kid. Back when teachers could paddle you for being bad. The biggest decision we had to make was white or chocolate milk. The girls had cooties and the boys teased the girls that they secretly liked.
Music was fun and we sung the same songs over and over again. That was one busy bus all over town.
Muppets were our best friends. We had a big yellow bird teaching us songs while a mean green man lived in the trash. A vampire taught us to count and a blue fuzzy monster taught us how to REALLY eat cookies.
Back when Mondays were Manic and people walked funny like Egyptians. When a Hammer had his own time and wearing a parachute as pants was cool. Where it was a thrill to be seen in a dark red leather jacket and one white glove.
Children were our future. When every major singer was The World. Hunger and homelessness were fought one hand at a time across America.
A little fat Italian man and his skinny brother kept us entertained for hours as they tried to rescue a princess against an evil dragon.
When cats had thunder and cars were actually robots in disguise. When knowing was ALWAYS half the battle. Where a pony was little and yours. Where bears lived in the clouds and traveled on rainbows. When rainbows were controlled by a blonde in pigtails.
A time when videos killed radio stars. When MTV actually played music videos and everyone wanted to jump.
There was only ONE HBO and having it made you cool. Teenagers learned things you can’t do on television. Slime was gross but you couldn’t wait to get it dumped on you. Where Dares were Doubled and always ended in a physical challenge.
A time where turtles fought like ninjas and everyone was afraid of a man dressed like a bat. Where a short little alien just wanted to go home.
Back when the Jedi made their return and superheroes were everywhere. A golden Hulk took on a Giant and won. A boxer showed us how to overcome all odds and be a winner if we had the eye of a tiger.
Where the Rain was purple and ghost were being busted. Where the fool was pitied. When we first found out time travel was possible at 88mph and it is NEVER a good idea to date your own mother in high school.
A man in a hockey mask scared us during the day while a burnt looking man haunted our nightmares.
Where the beef was missing and everyone asked what you were talking about. A dictionary was also a cute orphan boy. A Punky girl and her dog stole our hearts. When a Rider was Knighted. A talking car and a Wolf helicopter were the good guys. A Tab was more than a bill, it was the drink of choice.
Back when it was actually safe to walk around at night and no one worried about locking their doors. Neighbors were friendly and shared cooking supplies.
An actor was President and helped to bring down some wall in Berlin. A war that was cold ended and our arch enemy backed down and collapsed from failure.
The music was fresh, fun, and hip; not retro as it is today. Whipping It was a must. Love was a battlefield. Leg warmers and big baggy shirts could be seen everywhere. When hair was teased and a headband kept it all in place. Where dance was flashed or broken, and sometimes Dirty.
Pink was a pretty color and Blane was not a real name. A Foot became Loose. An Excellent Adventure was taken and a teenager made peace with his inner wolf. Breakfast was more than just a meal, it was a club. A Russian boxer became Master of the Universe and Punished the bad guys.
Arcades were everywhere as sounds of a yellow circle ate little dots and ghost. A ball was rolled around as a starship destroyed a bug. The stars found their last fighter.
Those were fun and simple times. VERY DORKY but simple. It has been said the 80’s is a decade time forgot or is trying to forget. Not me. I miss those simple fun times.
The best thing was anything weird was cool. I will never forget the 80’s and if you experienced it, you will not forget them either.
Max M. Power