Growing up I was not very educated in things going on in the world. If it was not on my morning cartoons chances are I did not know about it.
While kids were learning adult content in elementary school I just nodded my head and played along, pretending I knew what they knew about sex. I did not want to be laughed at for not knowing what the other kids were talking about.
Plain and simple, I was naive.
Most of my peers already had their first kiss before getting out of the fifth grade. Jr. High provided more proof of this fact when everywhere you looked the “cool” kids were making out.
Cheerleaders were girlfriends to the football players. Clicks were everywhere and faces were stuck together. As for me, I had to watch from afar. While I longed for the contact the other kids had I was reminded of two reasons why I could not.
First off, I was a nerd. Other nerds DID have girlfriends but I seemed to be different. I was always considered “a good friend” and nothing more.
Second, it was forbidden for me to have a girlfriend at my age. Unlike most teenagers, I was not the rebel without a cause. Even if I did have a cause it would not have mattered, I was a Jehovah’s Witness. Like I said, it was forbidden in our religion.
For this later reason I was often teased. I was different. I was an easy target. Needless to say, Jr. High was a very lonely time for me.
When I became a freshman in High School things changed. I was at a new school, new students, and unlike the kids I had been in classes with since the second grade, these new students knew nothing about me.
Still I had to pretend I knew what was going on. Clicks were everywhere and I did not fit into any of them. I did what I have always done, being the nerd I was, I worked in the library.
I had been working in the library during my lunch since the sixth grade. I was at home.
I filed books. I cleaned up. I read the comics in the newspaper. I finished my homework. I tutored other students. One of these students would educate me more than I would educate her. Her name was Vanessa Ortiez.
Vanessa was a goddess. Beautiful flowing long black hair. Cute perfectly placed dimples. Long lushes legs. Firm round behind. Great hips. Forty-six DD breast. Soft smooth tan skin. One hundred forty pounds and a smile that would make your heart melt. Like I said, a goddess.
Vanessa was failing English and History, two of my best subjects. When she walked up to me on that bright Friday afternoon I was stunned. She was asking for my help.
Unlike other girls, Vanessa asked for my help directly, not flirting with me to say yes. How could I refuse?
Everyday Vanessa would come into the library and I would tutor her in the back rooms. We could eat in these rooms so sometimes she would bring lunch for us to share. I would imagine I was on a picnic instead of in a small room filled with books.
I wanted to be with Vanessa, and not just as her tutor. I was no longer naive, just inexperienced. However, I did know enough to know Vanessa was WAY out of my league. She was a goddess and I was an insect.
Vanessa was always serious when we studied so I had to be too. In all honesty I could not concentrate when I was around her. My brain turned to mush.
On occasion my mush brain would show and Vanessa ALWAYS found this funny. “It’s very cute,” she would say.
This went on all semester. Vanessa’s failing grades were rising. She went from F’s to A’s. When Vanessa received her final report card of the semester she was surprised to see straight A’s.
Never in her life had Vanessa received straight A’s. The fruit of her labor was clear and she was excited. This excitement prompted a reward for me, although Vanessa did not know it.
The next time Vanessa saw me I was busy putting books back in their place on the shelves. I never saw her coming. Vanessa’s arms wrapped around me as she hugged me tight.
Vanessa’s firm breasts were pressing against me tightly. MY REWARD! When Vanessa let go I turned around. Vanessa hugged me again. The sweet smell of her perfume and shampoo filled my nose, drifting me away to paradise. Vanessa always smelled good.
“Thank you,” Vanessa said, kissing my cheek then letting go. She held out her report card and I seen why she was excited.
The next day I heard it through the grapevine that Vanessa was moving away with her father. I was crushed. I was in love.
I had to tell Vanessa how I felt. I wrote her a note to meet me in the Northwest stairwell at lunch. This stairwell was rarely used and I knew I would have privacy.
Vanessa met me, sensing the urgency in my tone. Before she could say a word I sprang up from where I was sitting and blurted out, “I love you.”
“What,” came the shock response. It was hard to tell if her face showed surprise or disgust. I had to continue.
“I’m in love with you. I’m seriously in love with you.”
Silence filled the air. The stairwell was dark, however, I could see my words were sinking in. I walked around the stairs to hide in the total darkness of the corner. I professed my love and my answer was silence.
Vanessa followed me to the corner. I was not going to escape so easily. “Your timing sucks,” Vanessa answered before grabbing my shirt and pulling me to her.
Vanessa’s soft sweet lips pressed against mine. My first kiss.
With each passing moment we continued to kiss. Slowly her deep red lipstick was coming off. My mind was racing a mile a minute.
Do I close my eyes or keep them open? Whoa, her tongue just went into my mouth! What do I do? Do I push it out with my own tongue? Do I stick my tongue in her mouth now? Where do my hands go? Am I doing this right or am I screwing up?
Vanessa was reading my mind. She broke away and smiled at me. I knew what that smile meant, she thought my inexperience was cute.
“Just relax and do what I do,” Vanessa whispered in my ear. She began to nibble my ear as she wrapped my arms around her waist, sliding my hands to her hips.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pecked my lips. “I’m in love with you too.”
We kissed again. This time I let my mind go blank. My body knew what to do as I closed my eyes and pulled Vanessa to me tight. For the next hour she was mine and I was not going to let her go.
I may have been a late bloomer but I am very glad that my first kiss was with Vanessa. Like many others, I will never forget my first love. I will never forget my first kiss.
Max M. Power